Alok's Theory of Crabs


No human has ever gotten a full mouthful of crab in one single bite. No one has ever had the pleasure of cracking a crab to only find delicious meat inside. Crab is designed so that no matter how you bite it, there is always at least one inedible bit in your mouth at any given time.

That’s why crab is such a tease to eat. You think you’ve reached crab nirvana, only to find a piece of shell blocking your path. Every time.

And no, opening up the crab, putting all the meat in a pile, and biting that doesn’t count. It has to be one contiguous piece of crab meat. Come on.

EDIT: I was wrong, thank God. Soft-shell crabs exist, and they’re a revelation. I’m going back to Vietnam just to experience crab nirvana again.

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